Active Listening Enriches Relationships

Enrich Your Relationship Marketing Through Active Listening
There is no real secret to listening, connecting or building relationships, if you consistently remind yourself that your attention, thoughts and questions should be focused on the other person when you engage in conversation.  Remember, the conversation should not be about you (me).  Your focus should be on the other person and what the real message they are trying to express.  If you learn to remove yourself from the equation with each introduction, conversation and presentation you will be light years ahead in enriching quality in relationship marketing in a much shorter amount of time than you ever expected.
Here are some ways to implement tactics to become a better relationship builder and relationship marketer.

HEARING OR LISTENING?
Listening is a major part of information processing.  Realize though, that hearing and listening is not the same thing.  Obvious enough, hearing is indeed a prerequisite to listening.  Hearing is the reception of sound; listening is the attachment of meaning.  The key to being an active listener is to really tune into what the other person is saying.
Listening is an important part of self-assessment.  These assessments begin when we are infants.  As we grow and listen to others, we get a sense of how we come across to others as well as get feedback about our skills, attitude and behavior.    Many people would agree that listening is a detrimental part of learning, improving communication and taking good notes.  Yet, few people have been taught HOW to listen well.  With the competition of all the information sources & distractions we have around us (cell phones, message chimes and life’s distractions), it’s no wonder we only really process (into memory) about 5% of what we hear.
If you were to think of people you know whom you really like to talk with, wouldn’t you say it’s the few people who truly listen and engage in what you are saying?  They are the ones who prove to be active listeners?  We all like to talk with these people because they make us feel as if what we have to say is really important and they care.  This is what you want to extend to everyone you engage in conversation with, isn’t it?
Here are some activities to help you engage in your conversations, remember more of it and in the end will help you to build long, quality relationships as a result of learning more about others.

THE INTRODUCTION…
Remembering names.  I think most of us do have this problem.  There are a few simple tricks to this one.  When you introduce yourself to someone, think of their name and how to relate it to someone or something that will help you remember it later.  Say their name a couple times during that initial conversation and again when you part, “Hey Craig, it was really nice getting to know more about you.”
When someone asks what you do, respond with passion and purpose.  Briefly share a meaningful connection to your business that may inspire people to want to know more.  At the same time, don’t make it all about business.  “I help other people create multiple streams of income.  It’s very rewarding and when I’m not enjoying that, I get to do more of what I really love; art and play basketball with my son.”

APPLY YOURSELF WHILE BEING ALERT & IN THE PRESENT.
Don’t allow distractions.  These days we have tens of competitive attention grabbers around us.  These really compete with how we process other information.  I’m sure that most everyone can relate to the fact that ‘there is so much to be done and only so little time to do it’, right?  So, 99% of the population has learned how, especially with the access of so many communication devices, to make use of every minute we have to get a message out to others or receive messages.  These devices are meant to make our lives easier.  Everything from transferring important business info and notifications, messages from kids, spouses and friends on plans and schedules… there are hundreds of ideas that are expressed.  But often our thoughts are on these types of activities that hold us back from what is right in front of us, someone who is deserving of our time and attention.

I am disappointed in myself when I hear my son as he’s walking away, “Never mind, you’re busy texting.”   Uuuugh!  That hurts.  When I think about how many times I haven’t really listened to what someone has told me later, it makes me realize that I’m restricting other very important information at hand.  It’s evident when I hear say that today communication is getting less deep and our personal relationships are growing farther apart.
Focus and increasing your observation & awareness skills by actively  becoming a better listener.

BE A ROLE MODEL & TURN GOSSIP INTO RESPECT
People gossip to feel important.  Yet, it actually creates mistrust.  If you hear someone gossip, doesn’t it make you wonder what they will say about you next?  So, take a turn to change the course of a conversation.  When someone makes a comment that normally starts the roller coaster, say something like, “She sure is good at decorating for functions.  Hey, did you think up the slogan for your ad campaign yourself?  It’s really catchy.”

DON’T BE A KNOW IT ALL.
Be open to what others tell you.  It is often easy to misinterpret the meaning of a message if you are approaching it in a defensive manner or if you are emotionally upset.  Most often other’s ideas are coming from another place that has formed from previous experiences.  Realize that your opinion or trying to prove someone else wrong should not be your motive.  If they criticize, ask questions.  Once we understand where their negativity is coming from, often we can empathize because their thoughts may have validation.  So, refuse to offend or be offended & be open to learning new information and willing to postpone judgment.
If they give you advice, hear them out and thank them for their interesting idea or thought.  When someone brags, give them the spotlight a little.  Let them feel successful.  Share in their success and create a connection.  Tell them you are impressed and they should feel proud.

UPON DEPARTING…
Make a comment that shows you care.  Say there name and form a sincere departing wish from your conversation.  For instance, if they mentioned in the conversation that their son is taking his ACT test on Saturday and they are concerned, you could wish them well, “You have a good weekend Tom and I hope Jason’s tests come out far beyond both of your expectations.”  Not only are you making a point to say his name but also to let him know you were genuinely listening.  This point can also serve as a reminder to you the next time you talk to him.  People feel important when you recall what they had mentioned in a previous conversation.

START TODAY.
Actively incorporate these tactics into conversations daily. By doing so  you will be building quality into all of your relationships, whether marketing or not.  Start now by actively listening to each person you speak with.   Remember, concentrate on what you are hearing and how you can offer solutions and not just about what you are going to say about yourself.  So, start practicing your listening skills and build your relationships as well as your relationship marketing.